A Single Girl's Guide to "Ring by Spring"

Note: this article is a satire. I’d recommend taking it about as seriously as a Christian dating advice book from the early 2000s.

If you’ve never heard of “ring by spring” it’s a lot like a Hallmark Channel Movie: predictable, lacking in diversity, and relatively wholesome-ish.

For those of you who want a more detailed summary, keep reading.

Generally, “ring by spring” refers to Christians getting engaged sometime before they graduate university. However, it can also refer to when a group of young Christian couples all get engaged in a brief span of time.

This raises a profound question: why? Besides *cough* sex *cough*, it’s usually because of a genuine desire to get married. However, it can also occur because of cultural pressures placed on believers–especially Christian women–to get married young or risk a future of uncertainty and being looked down upon in circles that glorify marriage.

But anyways, I digress. Despite how simple it sounds, the whole process is quite complicated. However, I’ve taken it upon myself to demystify the process. It was that or talk about singleness and so naturally I chose ring by spring despite having no personal experience with dating or being engaged.

Over the years I’ve been a frequent eyewitness to this unusual phenomenon. Therefore, I like to think it makes me somewhat of an expert. To begin, we are going to be looking at the seasonal timeline of ring by spring. Because like the British social season, ring by spring has several (and by several, I mean like three) noteworthy events: finding someone, seeing/dating someone, and getting engaged.

Fall:

Ring by spring kicks off in the fall. The season of new beginnings and romance. The preliminary round of the Christian Dating World Cup. After a summer of glow-ups and bible studies, you can count on young, attractive (assuming they did the summer glow-up) christian singles searching for their future spouse in this exciting new season of life. If you’re like me and already know you won’t find anyone, now’s your time to sit back and watch your friends’ interactions with one another. You know, for research purposes.

Winter:

It’s cold outside, so why not cuddle? With three King James bibles in between, obviously. Around this time of year, singles start coupling up after having known each other for approximately two months. However, this season isn’t just for cuddling. Come winter, you and your other single friends start placing bets on who will get engaged in this exciting new season of life. That or do what I do and check social media to find out who said “yes.” As a university student, I can’t afford to bet.

Spring:

By now, there should be a ring. If not, it’ll happen by next spring. There is a lot to celebrate as couples enter this exciting new season of life. If two of your friends are getting married, wedding invitations should’ve been sent out by now and you should’ve RSVP’d. Unfortunately, there are only so many weekends in a year. It's difficult for couples to find a venue that isn’t being used for another couple’s wedding. Unless your soon-to-be married friends want to share the venue, you’re likely going to have to make some difficult decisions about which couple you prefer and who is more likely to stay together long term.

Now that we’ve gone through the timeline, you might be thinking “great, but where do I actually meet other Christians?” Well thankfully (or perhaps unfortunately), I've been in the Christian bubble long enough to know about all the potential places one can look to find a future spouse.

Here are the most common places where Christians will look for and often find their future spouse:

• Bible College: Is anyone surprised? Bible college is like the Christian version of a rom-com. Your goal is to date in first year, get engaged in second year (before spring of course), get married that summer, and by the end of third year you should be expecting your first child together. However, if you’re not at a bible college, your campus’s Christian club is also an option, although it’s less ideal; you have to wait until fourth year to get engaged. Only in bible college do things move fast.

• Youth Groups/Young Adult Groups: Hormones. Stress. Put it all together and you’ve got the perfect recipe for creating couples. Do they last? Not usually, but hey, at least both parties can say that they’ve been in a relationship before. Young adult groups are the same, but with significantly fewer hormones. Just as long as it’s not a young adult singles group for those over thirty. No couples ever come out of those. Who could blame them?

• Church: Some might say this is the same as a youth group, and I’d have to agree. The only difference is that you’ve got a slightly larger sea to fish from. And when I say slightly, I mean slightly. Not counting the elderly population, most of your options are already married with kids of their own. Perhaps it’s best to pursue this route only if someone in the congregation ends up unexpectedly widowed.

• Christian Summer Camp: For those who want a head start on the timeline, camp is one of the best places to catch feelings. After all, you’re literally isolated from the rest of society for the summer, so the only options in sight are your fellow co-workers. Worse case scenario, you’ll walk away with a tale of how your summer camp crush broke your heart. Sigh. Sometimes summer love really sucks.

• Christian Mingle/Dating Apps: This one is a bit of a gamble. It might work, it might not. I’ve heard of a few couples who’ve gotten married because one of them swiped right. Unfortunately, you’ll probably find yourself swiping left way more than you will right. One of the most popular dating apps for believers is Christian Mingle. However, keep in mind that the app has a 1.5 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot. Overall, proceed with caution.

• Christian Conferences: With names like “Catch the Fire” and “Passion,” these annual events aren’t even trying to be subtle. Out of all the options listed, Christian conferences tend to have the lowest rate of success when it comes to finding someone. I’ve yet to hear of a married couple who met at a Christian conference, but who knows? Maybe you will end up "catching the fire" for someone at Passion this year.

• Other Places: The umbrella category for every first meeting that took place in a non-Christian setting. Whether it’s at an airport or at a bar (I know a married couple where this was the case, so never say never), these are usually the last places you’d expect to meet your future spouse. While I have yet to meet a young, attractive Christian man with a kind and genuine personality at my local library, perhaps I shouldn’t write it off completely. After all, God works in mysterious and surprising ways.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed right now by all of your potential options, I don’t blame you. In order to find someone, you basically need to have a jam-packed social life of serving God and others. Unfortunately, you can only be part of so many groups before you spread yourself thin. But hey, at least you'll look super spiritual on the outside.

Also, despite all this information, there is no guarantee that going to any of these places or following the steps in the timeline will get you a spouse. After all, nothing in life is guaranteed except for taxes, death, and Disney sequels that nobody asked for.

While there is no secret formula to finding someone, I will say this: don’t be afraid to take risks or make mistakes when dating. Love God and others, not because you might get something out of it, but simply to love for the sake of loving. It’s normal to worry about who you'll end up, but there are so many things to enjoy in life right now without someone by your side.

What I’m trying to say is don’t give up hope that one day you’ll find someone even though I already have. However, you also shouldn't let the anxiety of trying to find the "right" person stop you from living for God and pursuing other interests and dreams. Honestly, who knows? Maybe in five years from now you will get that coveted ring by spring.

If not, you’re always welcome to join me as a member of the spinster’s club.